Happy
by LookAlive
Summary: Isn't it strange that the stars don't shine now more now since you're gone? Isn't it strange that we can't look back and say just what went wrong? SONG FIC, Intwine – Happy – Kendall would die without Jo.


**A/N: This one-shot about Kendall & Jo is based off the song Happy, by Intwine, which was a pretty big hit in Holland. I didn't use several parts of the song because I didn't like them or I didn't really know how to use them. It's Kendall's POV. I hope you like it and please review :D.**

**_Lyrics _**/ _Memories _/ Present

**Disclaimer: I do not own big time rush or the song 'Happy' by Intwine.**

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Why would you leave? What did I ever do wrong? I tried to make you feel beautiful, I tried to be everything you needed, but you didn't see it. I haven't seen you weeks and I still can't get over it. I don't want to be here without you.

_**Isn't it strange that the stars don't shine no more now since you're gone?  
Isn't it strange that we can't look back and say just what went wrong?**_

'_I can't do this, Kendall,' Jo looked into my eyes and to my surprise they looked sad. 'What do you mean?' I responded. 'You can't do what? If you don't want to see a movie with me, that's okay, we can do something else!' I bit my bottom lip as I saw how guilty she looked. _

'_I mean I can't do this anymore. This just… it won't work out. We should end it here.' She looked away from my eyes and I saw a tear sliding down her cheek. I furrowed my eyebrows. 'What did I do wrong?'_

'_It's not about you –'_

'_It's about me, blah blah blah… Yeah, I've heard that one before, Jo. If this isn't about me, why would you say this?' I raised my eyebrows and grabbed her hand, but she pulled her hand back. 'It's over, Kendall. I… I need to go.' And without more words she turned around and started walking away, leaving me alone in the moonlight. Ironically enough, it started to rain and within seconds I was soaking wet, but I still couldn't move. It was around midnight when I was finally able to move again. I walked around for hours, but I couldn't discover any stars in the pitch black sky. It seemed that all stars had left along with Jo._

_**I wanna know where we are  
Should I pretend and let things be**_

Why can't you come back? Why would you never call me? Text message me? If you'd only send me an email… I'd do anything to get you back. I'd do anything to talk to you again and I need to see your eyes, I need to touch your hair, I need to hear your laughter when we'd mess with Bitters… I need to hear your beautiful voice and I won't even mind if you totally beat me up practicing judo or something like that. We'd do anything you want. Just come back. Please.

_**I wanna know when what you've done  
Could you come face to face with me? **_

What about the memories? What about the great time we had together? What about the time when you said you loved me? When you kissed my cheek and pulled me into another hug? Isn't that important to you? Not at all? Only a week before you left… Why did you change your mind? What happened to cause you changing your mind? Or did you even mean it? What if you were just lying to me? Was I important to you at all? Did and most of all _do_ you even care about me?

_**Isn't it strange that you told me one thing suddenly changed your mind?**_

'_I love you, Kendall,' she said as she laid her head rest on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and let my head rest on her head. 'I love you too, Jo. Promise me you won't leave me.' It took a little time for her to answer, but she did. 'I promise.' And we sat there for at least an hour, watching the sunset. I felt so happy, just sitting with you at the beach, letting the sand slip away through my fingers and having you so close to me. I never thought watching the sunset would feel so good. I never thought watching the sunset could be beautiful instead of boring. And it was only because you were with me. _

_**Isn't it strange that you called me for me turn away and leave me behind?**_

I can't breathe without you, I can't be myself without you. You are a part of me, why would you mess with me like this? Breathing gets harder, the easiest thing in life. I can't do it without you. I don't want to get up in the morning. I don't want to eat breakfast. I don't want to take a shower as long as I know I can't see your eyes after that. All I wanna do is drown in my own tears, die along with my thoughts. I never want to get up again. I'll just lay here, on my bed. It will end. I know.

_**Now it feels like I'm drowning. Feels like I'm drowning without you. I know the feeling 'cause I felt this all before**_

And the worst part is that you knew what you would do to me by leaving. Haven't I told you several times about it? About how _he_ left me before? How he left me, mom and Katie? And now you are doing this to me, so that I have to do this again? Over and over again? I bite my bottom lip until I taste blood. I squeeze the pillow that I'm holding even harder and I'm trying my best not to cry. Not again. Not about someone who wouldn't even care about me. Not because you put me in so much pain. I don't want to cry. Don't want to.

_**I hope you don't feel just like me  
I hope you don't feel just like me  
I hope you don't feel just like me  
I hope you're happy**_

_As long as you're happy everything is okay_. Or at least that's what I keep reminding myself. I hope you don't feel just like me, I hope you're happy. _I hope you'd never think of me_. At that thought I can't hold my tears back and they start flowing again. I do hope you think of me. I hope you'd never forget me. But then again, why would you even think about me? You don't care about me. Then why would you think about me? Maybe because we had a great time together? If I only knew that turned out to be a lie… to you, at least.

_**Isn't it strange that the world seems to turn away when I try to explain?**_

I tried to call you, but even though I thought I would never do it, I gave up. You never picked up the phone. You never answered my text messages or replied to my emails. And every single time I tried to explain I'd end up more and more miserable. Why won't you answer me? I mean, okay: you don't want to talk to me and you don't want to see me. You don't care about me, but what's the problem if we'd only text message each other? Do you hate me that much?

_**What's so strange that two can't be as one and another same.**_

Maybe we aren't meant to be at all. But I keep thinking about those memories. I thought you'd stay with me. You promised. But I've been proved wrong before and this is just another time I'm proved wrong. I just thought that I meant something for you. I just thought I'd be a little more important for you, but you left me like a wreck. You left me like this, crying like a baby about you. _Those memories meant nothing, nothing at all_.

_**And it feels like I'm drowning. Feels like I'm drowning without you I know the feeling 'cause I felt this all before. And it feels like I'm dying.**_

I can't breathe, I can't eat, I can't do anything without you. You need to come back. I don't want to do this without you. _Please come back_. I've been like this for days, I broke down and it's your fault. I'm lying on my bed, squeezing a pillow and biting my lip just to keep me from screaming and crying. I haven't eaten for hours and no one gets close to me because they're scared that I'd freak out and yell at them or something. And it's your fault. You left me like this.

_**Feels like I'm dying now I know the truth.**_

If you'd only answer me… If you'd only reply to my calls… Please…

_**I hope you don't feel just like me  
I hope you don't feel just like me  
I hope you don't feel just like me  
I hope you're happy  
Don't feel just like me  
I hope you don't feel just like me  
I hope you don't feel just like me  
I hope you're happy**_

'Kendall?' I know that voice. It isn't the voice of one of my best friends, not my mom's or Katie's. It's the voice I missed the most past weeks. I wipe away my tears before you can see them and look up. You're standing in my room, looking even more beautiful than in my memories. You're hesitating to come closer but you do it anyway. You sit down next to me and look in my eyes, biting your bottom lip. 'I'm so sorry.'

I want to pull you in a hug, I want to scream at you, I want to hurt you just as badly as you hurt me, I want to kiss you, but I can't move. I'm paralyzed and I don't know what to say to you, except for just one little word: 'Why?' My voice cracks but I don't care about it. I haven't been talking a lot the past few weeks. I'm staring at you with a blank expression. I wonder if you even realized how much pain you caused by leaving.

'I'm sorry,' you sob again. 'I tried to move on, I needed to focus on my career and you were distracting me. But I noticed that I don't want to do this without you. I need you.' You sob again and you can't hold your tears back. They start flowing down your cheeks, one by one. I swallow. What do I have to say? You caused so much pain…

'I'm sorry.' You whisper. 'Please don't hate me.' That strikes me. I can never hate you. Ever. I pull you into a hug and I feel your arms wrapped around my waist. That's how it should be. We should be together. I hope I can make you happy this time. _I hope you're happy_.

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**A/N: Let me know what you think, please review :)**


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